Ever feel like your life is a continual merry-go-round? You keep dealing with the same issue over and over again. You say things like,
“I’m gonna change!” “This time it will be different.” “I’m done with that.”
Then, surprise surprise, the very next day is the “same old same old.”
What’s the problem? Why does this happen? You genuinely want to change but for whatever reason you stay stuck in the rut. You don’t want to be an angry person anymore. Boom. Freak out session. You want to lose weight and quit binge eating at night. 10PM. Bring on the chips and beer. The relationship with your friend or significant other is tuff. No more being critical. Out pops the old nitpicker again.
The reason why you can’t change when you want to is because you don’t “get to the root.”
When the apple tastes nasty where is the real problem found? With the root, not the fruit.
As our dear friend Craig Johnson once taught us, “To change the fruit, you have to get to the root.”
You have a root issue, not a fruit issue.
Here are three must haves if you really want to change:
Get Desperate. When you are desperate you are hungry. When you are hungry, you want something bad. When you want something bad you’ll go to great lengths to get it. When you go to great lengths to get it you will eventually find what you are hungry for. Desperation can be your friend. Allow it to channel you to change.
Learn How to Dig. Most of the time people are looking for answers but asking the wrong questions. If you ask the wrong question you’ll never get the right answer. That's why we teach people to ask “digging questions.” When you ask the right questions it’s like taking a scoop of dirt off the buried treasure. Ask questions like these. What am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling this way? What thoughts lead to these feelings? Keep digging and digging and you will eventually find what you are looking for.
Trace Your Emotions. Your feelings are driven by your thoughts, your thoughts drive your beliefs, and your beliefs are the root of the problem. If you get to the root you can change the fruit. What are you believing about a situation you want to change? What you believe is true to you, even if it’s false. Do you believe you can actually change? Or deep down are you filled with doubt. Address your issues at belief level and change will follow.
Change isn’t always easy, but if you're miserable where you are, then change is a must. Life is too short to live miserable. You were not created to be miserable. Sometimes misery can be a great motivator. If you are hating some specific aspect of your life, use the hatred as motivation for change.
BUT! Don’t try to do it alone. Ask the Spirit to help you. Find some good support from people. We would love to help you too! You can find out more about us at www.nealandamie.com and if you want to be contacted by one of our crew members click “Need Help?” on our website.
The first step is admitting you need it. We all do.
Cheers to finding your way,
XO - N+A
In this episode
Intro: three things you need to make a change in your life
(Class) Action Park
If you really want to change, step number one is to get desperate.
Learn how to dig
People are oftentimes like to live their life solely on the surface.
How hard is change?
Amie ties in the plant allegory
Neal explains how everything is working against real change in one’s life, so care must be taken to prevent being stuck in a rut
Neal talks about the importance of finding someone that’s a little bit further down the road
Ultimately, there has to be a power that comes from a completely different source
Recap three things: 1. Get Desperate, 2. Dig, 3. Get to the Root
Neal talks about the nealandamie.com “Get Help” button