N+A blog


A Line Had to be Drawn

Sep 20, 2020

Excerpt from Neal and Amie’s New Book “Wayfinder”  

Chapter 6 A Line had to be Drawn  

“There are certain times in life when someone says, “That’s it, this is where I’m drawing the line.” I’ve had enough of this. In the words of the old cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man, “That’s all I can stand, I can’t stand no more!” When that line is drawn, we have a decision to make. Which side of the line am I going to stand? Do I want to continue in the miserable life I am living or do I want to end it? Am I going to give up and allow addictions, attitudes, anger and dysfunction to dominate my life, or am I going to step across the line and make the decision to put effort into getting better? Will I lay down or stand up under the pressure? 

Sometimes we have enough sense about us to draw good clear lines for ourselves, yet other times we need someone to do it for us. It reminds me of being a kid, pushing the limits of every boundary, walking right up to the lines my parents would draw for me and even touching it with my toes. Many of us have natural tendencies to toe the line, blur the line, and cross the line when someone isn’t looking. We cross lines all the time. We say one thing in the passion of the moment and then when the passion wears off, break the rules, and cross the line. 

I used to beat myself up pretty bad for crossing the line. Often, I would set boundaries for myself then in a moment of weakness move the line. If I said this is no longer a struggle for me I would be lying. Knowing that I had never been to the line of life or death like Donnie was a scary realization to me as I was talking with him. I knew that even in my own moments of weakness I had tendencies to cross the line, so for him the line needed to be very clear, and it was my job to help him discover the line and draw it.” 

Are there any circumstances in your life where you need to draw some lines? 

People, places, things, emotions, substances, all could be particular areas you need lines.

Jot down 2 or 3 main things you need to establish clean lines in this week and then share them with someone you trust. Ask them to be a support person for the lines you are drawing. 

Now take the next right step. 

We’re here to help if you need it. Visit our website for more information on resources for helping you find your way. You can reach out by clicking the “need help” button and let us know how we can help you. 

XO N + A 



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